Brian is just trying to provide for his beautiful family in any way he can. Whether that means traversing the country soaking in the adulation of his tens of fans or working his everlovin' ass off in a series of ambitious internet enterprises, Brian knows that rich white people gotta hustle. Alternately known as 'Shwood', 'Scamschoolbrian', or 'Fucko #1', Brian craves the spotlight, hates chewing sounds on mic, and lives in constant fear of the photo of Harambe that the Cincinnati Zoo doesn't want you to see.
Justin Robert young
It's a sure sign of being both white and rich when you have 3 names. Justin Robert Young, also known as 'JuRY' or 'Fucko #2', doesn't disappoint. JuRY needs your help, though. The pressures of being white and rich have caused Justin serious pain, and he has begin coping the only way he knows how -- by splitting into multiple personalities and self-medicating with alcohol. But even when channeling Captain Morgan, Tom Twitch, or the Ad Dragon, JuRY speaks the truth and spreads the gospel of WPR.
The straw that stirs the overpriced rich white person drink, Bryce is an innovator and a renaissance man. The WPR locomotive otherwise known as Night Attack would've derailed long ago were it not for the stewardship and strong chewing muscles of the man otherwise known as Neshcom. The pioneer of Social Eating, Bryce's head hangs heavy with the burden of wearing the NA crown and helping Shwood and JuRY navigate the rough WPR waters.
c. montgomery burns
Every great movement needs a spiritual leader, someone who embodies -- through words and deeds -- the core tenets of the cause. C. Montgomery Burns is that leader for the WPR, who look to him for guidance, for direction, for leadership, and for the occasional grotto bacchanalia over Labor Day weekend (when all mixed drinks are prepared with the tears of the working class).